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Now that all the lists are out–Parents Magazine, Parenting, Toywishes, Amazon and others–for the best new toys for holiday giving, parents are asking what to buy? All these lists are helpful but what I have assembled is a list of my favorite toys, many new but some old favorites, based on their value in building speech and language skills. I’ve added tips to build language to increase the educational value of the toy.
There is a huge push to read to your baby as soon as she is born–and even before since her auditory system is mature after the second trimester. Research shows that the amount of talking to your baby positively influences her language development. The more words your baby hears, the better it is for her language growth. Babies are hard-wired to learn language but the quantity of words you feed your baby is important. In the same way that it’s critical to narrate your day to your infant, filling her day with words, reading to your baby offers many of the same advantages. Your infant is hearing the “rhythm of language”, distinguishing her primary language from other languages based on timing, pitch and sounds. An article in a recent parenting magazine suggests that if you have an infant to 3 month old it is best to choose books that have one word on a page.
Not so for language development! The first three months are an opportunity to bathe your child in all kinds of language, through conversation as well as reading books. Try nursery rhymes, poems, stories or picture books. You have a little window when your infant will happily listen to anything. Around 3 months, she will be more attentive to a shorter text with all the rhyme and rhythm of Brown Bear Brown Bear or Moo Baa La La La ,
When visiting new Mom, Dad, and 2 week-old Caroline, I noticed Favorite Nursery Rhymes from Mother Goose, Classic Fairy Tales and Talking Like the Rain: A Read-to-me Book of Poems in. the nursery. Mom had researched these beautiful anthologies, bought them and was reading them to her daughter. Caroline was hearing the bouncy beat and rhyme of “Jack and Jill went up the hill,” the flowing language of classic fairy tales like “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” and the shorter rhyming phrases of poems by endearing authors. Another mom read the Madeleine series to her newborn daughter who happened to be named Madeleine.
As your infant gets older and more discerning for a bright, simple, shorter rhythmic rhyming tale, she might not have the patience for a longer story. This can happen around 3 months but don’t hesitate to keep reading longer, more complex stories to your child as long as she is interested.
In addition to your “running commentary” describing your activities like a reporter to your baby, you should have have some times of using short, tuneful, simple sentences such as “Up we go” or “Bounce up high.” Each activity—changing a diaper, watching his mobile, feeding and dressing, provides a backdrop for a series of little sentences. Diaper time could include “Pick your feet up,” “Rip off the tabs,” “Ooh, the diaper is wet,” “Wipe your bottom” and “Now you’re dry.” You will naturally use some of the same expressions during each activity and your baby will start to learn the vocabulary associated with that category of activity.
Always use grammatically correct sentences. Confused by mixed messages in child guidance books, parents ask me whether to use short phrases like, “Put shoe on” versus “Put Will’s shoe on.” If your child’s language is developing normally, you would talk to him in grammatically correct sentences like the latter example, including all pertinent parts of speech. Your child benefits from hearing all parts of the sentence.
If it materializes that your child is delayed, you can try a shorter version, sometimes called “telegraphic speech.” “Put shoe on,” for a child who is delayed in speech, reduces language and makes it easier to learn. Children developing normally are hard-wired to learn language from adults speaking correctly. No baby talk!
When a stranger walks up to your baby and starts talking in a high pitched sing-song manner, “Hi Sweetheart, what a cute little girl you are!” your baby loves it. Many adults naturally approach a baby in this way with a higher pitch, shorter sentences, simpler grammar, and varied pitch with almost a musical quality. Stress and pauses emphasize important words, particularly at the end of a phrase or sentence such as “Let’s go to the beach and pick up some shells.” Once called “motherese,” mothers don’t have a monopoly on this type of talking. It is now referred to as “child-directed speech.” Unlike baby talk, child-directed speech uses simple, grammatically correct sentences and accurate vocabulary words. There are no substitutions of baby words like “ba ba” for blanket or “woofy” for dog.
Parents don’t have to use child-directed speech but it comes naturally to many moms, dads and certainly grandparents, and has its benefits. It not only maximizes communication but also shows affection.
There is evidence that babies actually prefer child-directed speech, since it gains their attention and they take in more language. The size and shape of his outer ear canal cause higher pitches to resonate better so he can actually hear these sounds better when delivered in child-directed speech. A slower cadence is easier for babies to follow since their nervous systems process auditory information slower than adults. Louder speech overcomes the fact that a baby’s hearing is less sensitive than that of adults and the simpler sentence structure and contrasting pitch and loudness levels allow the baby to more easily distinguish parts of speech. Research has shown that when mothers used child-directed-speech, their babies had greater vocabulary and grammatical accuracy than those who did not. In addition, when babies are spoken to this way, they are better able to make fine distinctions between sounds and words. Five-month-olds could only tell the difference between the pretend words “marana” and “malana” when spoken to in child-directed-speech. The two sounds, l and r, that differ in the words, are very similar acoustically and hard to distinguish. Babies spoken to in child-directed speech obviously have the advantage of hearing finer differences in sounds that differentiate words.
Do you ever get frustrated trying to hear a voice in a noisy restaurant or a crowded party? Babies have more difficulty distinguishing foreground sounds (such as calling his name), and background noise (TV, radio, or loud voices), than do adults and need a greater difference between the two in order to focus on the foreground sounds. A quiet setting allows them to hear language clearly, which stimulates the brain pathways for developing language. Providing a quiet environment for play during the first year can actually allow those discriminating skills to develop more easily.
When it’s time to play, turn off the TV, radio, electronic toys and music. Music is a wonderful listening experience for babies, but enjoy a separate music time where you focus on the songs, bang to the beat and sing along. Check with day care providers to make sure they have a quiet time or place for language exchange. Voices can be distracting background noise, too. A popular question from moms is, “When my husband comes home and he relaxes by watching TV, is that bad for my baby?” Obviously, parents are better parents when they have time to relax. Be aware that your baby is only awake and available for play for a short time, so it is wise to turn down the noise during your precious minutes of play.
In a quiet environment, very young babies are capable of hearing tiny differences between sounds. A researcher at Brown University showed that one-month-old babies could hear the difference between a “p” and “b” sound, which are very close acoustically. If you provide an environment with a quiet background, these discriminative abilities have a better chance to operate.
From your newborn’s first cry, you are drawn into a lifelong conversation just between the two of you! Coos and babbles are the foundation for later language and all learning.
Although he can’t understand words yet, he is already recognizing the “rhythm” of the language he hears. A baby’s brain is naturally designed to learn language but his experiences greatly influence the actual language that he speaks, as well as how he speaks. Research shows that newborns can detect tiny differences in sounds, rhythms of foreign languages, voices, and recognize familiar speech patterns and speakers—all of this before they can understand a word!
Suddenly you have a little buddy tagging along on your daily activities, whether it be a trip to the grocery store or a walk into the next room. Whether it’s exciting or mundane, each new setting is an opportunity for language learning with new objects, actions and feelings to describe. Talk a lot to your baby, offering him a running commentary about what you are thinking, feeling and experiencing. Narrate your routines of getting dressed, gathering things for an outing, taking a ride in the car, changing diapers, or making a meal: “I am taking out the pot and filling it with water. Where is the pasta? Oh, it’s in the cupboard. I need to open the package and pour the pasta in the water. I hope the water doesn’t boil over the pot.” In addition to describing your experience, talk about what your baby is feeling, thinking and experiencing. “You love the beach! The sand feels warm and scratchy between your toes. You can hear the seagulls squawking in the sky.”
Quantity is important. A landmark study by researchers Risley and Hart found disparity in the amount of language children hear between groups of children 1-2 years old from three different socioeconomic groups. The greater the number of words children heard, the greater their scores at age three, such as IQ and vocabulary strength. These trends continued to be evident in the third grade. That being said, I would offer an aside. After speaking to a group of new mothers and encouraging them to talk a lot to their babies, I was approached by a mom who said, “I did what you said and talked to my baby about everything all day, and at the end of the day I was just exhausted!” I’ll bet her baby was exhausted, too.
Obviously, you and your baby need a break at times. Quiet times are important, too, as your baby learns through looking and listening, comparing and locating sounds and voices. As you read your baby, he will tell you he is engaged by his eye contact, smiles and body language. When he looks away or starts to get fussy, he has had enough. He is telling you to turn down the chat!
Engaging in a running commentary throughout your day comes naturally to some parents, and not to others. I enjoy talking to myself, others and even the dog, but I have encountered wonderful moms who are quieter by nature and have to consciously think about chatting with their babies. My neighbor, a psychotherapist who is raising three delightfully verbal daughters, recently admitted to me, “I knew when my girls were young it was important to talk to them a lot for their language development, but it didn’t come naturally for me. I am a good listener, so I had to remind myself to talk more.” She had to be intentional about being chatty.
Why is it important to talk to your baby? Because at this age, babies are listening to the shape and rhythm of language. Listening develops the language areas of their brain. Like little scientists, babies are deciphering patterns in language long before they understand words. On the basis of patterns of intonation, stress, and pitch, babies only two days old can distinguish the difference between their native language and a foreign tongue. In the same way, adults can recognize languages we don’t speak from their distinct rhythm.
Another study reveals that babies in utero hear differences in language before they are born. Newborns recognized The Cat in the Hat, which their mothers had read to them twice a day for the last six weeks of pregnancy, totaling about five hours of listening in the womb. After birth, the babies’ sucking response indicated a preference for The Cat in the Hat over another story. Babies recognized and preferred the story they had heard in the womb. I have heard from several parents who talked and read to their baby before birth. Maya’s dad had been speaking to her in utero, so when she was just a few minutes old, his familiar voice already soothed her.
Talking to your baby has social implications, too. When you look your baby in the eye and start up a conversation, you are acknowledging his uniqueness as a human being. His smiles and coos make you feel pretty important, too!
What if my baby isn’t interested in looking at a book?
I met a mom who sang the story to her three-month-old baby, after reading didn’t work. Her baby paid attention with the extra stimulation of music, changes in pitch and rhythm. Also, make sure you have books that are simple and geared toward your baby’s age. Often when I visit homes, parents show me their collection of books, many of which are geared toward an older age child. These won’t engage your baby. Don’t forget, when you’ve read or talked about a few pages, you’ve had a story time. Don’t force it. If your baby has had enough, stop and pick up a book later.
Do I have to read to my baby before bedtime? She’s fussy and won’t listen.
No, you want to read to your baby when she is relaxed and attentive, not fussy. You might find that before bedtime, after nap or the middle of the afternoon is the best time. Try to get into a routine but be flexible as her schedule changes. I was working with a mom who thought she had to read to her baby before bed but was frustrated because Maya was too fussy. Break the rules and see what your baby likes.
Is it okay for my baby to watch infant videos?
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no TV viewing for children under two years of age. Children under two learn language through social interaction, not by viewing a TV screen. One of my favorite studies came out in July, 2003, where researchers from the University of Washington looked at how babies learn a foreign language. Comparing three groups, the researchers exposed nine-month-old American babies to just under five hours of Mandarin Chinese. The first group heard live native speakers, the second group listened to a professionally produced DVD of the same speakers, and the third group listened to an audio version. The babies in the first group (live speakers) were the only ones who could distinguish sounds in the foreign language. Infants learn language from live speakers through their everyday activities.
On the other hand, many moms have shared that popping in an infant DVD gives them a necessary break to take a shower or get dressed! Life is about balance and that is understandable. Just realize that research backs language learning through live experience, not through videos and TV for infants.
In addition, many infant videos are designed to be watched with a parent so you can narrate the action and relate it to your child’s experience. One mom used her duck puppet and matched it to the rubber duck on the video, talking to her baby while they watched together.
Countless studies show that children whose parents read to them from an early age tend to talk earlier, read better, and think in more complex ways than those whose parents don’t. Reading to your infant is simply bathing him with language, much like when you talk to him. He benefits from hearing the rhythm of language and the many new vocabulary words that he might not hear in everyday conversation. Strong language skills during the first years of life are a major predictor of a good reader. In addition, the cuddle connection is invaluable for parent and child.
By three months your baby is likely to raise his head for longer periods of time, and look around at interesting things during time on her tummy, in your lap or a baby seat. His eyesight has gone from fuzzy at birth to making nearly all the color distinctions and by four months, he can see, categorize and even briefly remember colors.5
You can hold your baby and read a book or place her in one of the many reclining seats and position yourself face to face as you hold the book next to you. Since babies become interested in toys at about three months, a book with bright colors and contrasts attracts your baby’s attention in the same way as a stuffed toy. As you read, your baby might attend to the book, examining it like a toy, or he might look at you, fascinated by the movements of your mouth, tongue and lips. With his innate preference for faces, he may listen to the whole book while looking at you. That is fine if he looks at you or the book. Both are interesting to him as he is taking in the language.
1. Anything Goes: Your newborn in a captive audience and I have heard from parents that they have read Golf Digest, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and older children’s books like Madeline to their baby. I am often asked if that is alright. Yes, you can read just about anything to your newborn because they are cuing in to the rhythm of language. One mom shared that when she came home from the hospital with her first born, she collapsed on the bed, propped him on her tummy and read the “how to come home from the hospital” page to him out loud because she figured they could both benefit. She undoubtedly got some reassuring information and he was stimulated through hearing the shape and rhythm of language. Your baby will get more aware and picky as they approach three months. Also, when you read adult material to a newborn you are less likely to deliver the bounce, expression and fun of a child’s book.
2. Get the Beat: As your baby approaches three months it is beneficial to read simpler children’s books with clear colorful illustrations and emphasize rhythm and rhyme through shorter expressive sentences. Be animated with your voice and facial expressions, knowing that children vocalize more to a familiar face and the most to a familiar face that is expressive.
3. Slow Down: Read in a slower expressive, up and down pitch much like the child directed speech, where words are emphasized through a sing song type of talking. Babies take in more language when spoken to this way. One mom was reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar with lots of emotion in her voice and little Noah, three months, started reacting to the emotion in her voice. She also brought in a stuffed caterpillar to relate to the story. Noah was too young to understand the connection at his age but it is another toy to talk about and describe.
Play on Words Picks:
Sturdy board books, soft books that crinkle and encourage interaction and accordion books (like The World Around Me Ocean by Baby Einstein) to pull out and stand up for “tummy time” chats are all great choices for this age.
· Read to Your Bunny by Rosemary Wells: This book not only introduces the new parent to one of my favorite children’s authors and illustrators, but also celebrates the message that reading to your child is important. In our busy world we need that reminder to slow down and spend 20 minutes reading to our baby.
· Brown Bear Brown Bear, What Do You See? by Martin and illustrated by Eric Carle: I have never met a three month old baby who wasn’t fascinated with this bright, simple repetitive story. Through repetition and patterns this board book asks questions, gives the answers and culminates in a summary of all the animals. Preschoolers enjoy this book for many years.
· Fuzzy Bee and Friends by Priddy Books: Babies love this soft, cloth book and it is a favorite choice because of the bounce, beat and rhyme. Fun textures from shiny snails and wispy dragonfly wings to stringy spider legs, give parents lots to describe to enrich language.
· Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown: The popular classic has bright colors and lovely rhythms. It’s unique in that it contains all forty-four sounds in the English language—every ending, blending and dipthong.
· Moo Baa La La La by Sandra Boynton: A parent’s enthusiasm for a book transfers to his or her child. Humor, beat, rhyme and cute story line delights babies and parents for many months, teaching them that listening is fun as they learn animal noises and enjoy the “oinks,” “sniffs” and “snorts!” Emphasize the fun words in the sentences and show your enjoyment in saying them.
· Peek a Moo by Marie Torres Cimarusti: Who doesn’t like a game of peek-a-boo? Babies enjoy the big bold pictures of animals hiding behind their hoofs, wings and feathers declaring “Peek-a-moo” and “Peek-a-cock-a-doodle-doo.”Read the book and describe the action for your baby. She will enjoy this book for several months, particularly when she approaches nine months and enjoys the element of surprise.
When your baby arrives, it’s time to play. Since newborn babies prefer a variety of shapes, curves, angles and contrasts in light and dark, your face is his first favorite toy! He reacts as you talk to him and smile, watching your mouth, eyes and face move, casting shadows and changing expressions.
But by the time your baby reaches three months, he can see more clearly, focus on an object and is interested in a toy. You’re still a favorite but now it’s time to pick great toys that will enhance language. Certain features in a toy will invite more language, giving you more to talk about as you play with your baby.
1. Find a Friendly Face: Choose toys that have a friendly face. A rooster, a caterpillar or even an apple can all have a face, ready to engage in your baby in conversation with you. Babies are naturally attracted to faces and actually talk more to a face, especially one with lots of expression. Take on the voice for your bug or pony and talk to your baby, describing actions like eating, sitting, playing, or galloping while moving your toy. Blocks and stacking rings are great toys for building that can be animated when they have a face on them. Look for toys with a face.
2. Feels Good: Describe contrasting textures to provide your baby with lots of exciting vocabulary like crinkly, smooth, bumpy, soft, hard or fuzzy. Talk about the puppy’s shiny, smooth paws and fuzzy, squishy tummy, as your baby is exploring the toy. Look for toys that have lots of contrasts in texture—some soft, hard, slippery, fuzzy, bumpy or smooth surfaces. The more contrasts your toy has, the more you have to describe and talk about with your baby. Feeding babies’ descriptions with rich vocabulary enhances their language.
3. Sounds Alive: Many baby toys make a sound—a rattle, a jingle, or a squeak. Some even make the sound for the specific animal like a bark for a dog or moo for a cow. Squeeze your little dog to bark or shake your elephant to rattle, pause and watch your baby’s response. Talking about the sounds you’ve heard and repeating them yourself adds interest to your baby’s play and promotes listening skills.
4. Colorful contrasts: Since newborns focus on the boldest patterns and see only some color, toys with bold patterns of black and white are of greatest interest to them. But, by the time a baby is three months old, he can make nearly all the color distinctions so bring on the color! While a toy with many contrasting colors is exciting to look at, it also provides lots of opportunity to describe the different colors. Don’t forget a board book with bright colors on a white background serves as an interesting “toy” to look at also. Hold the book up so your baby can see the book as well as your face as you read the simple text.
After speaking to a group of new moms about the importance of strong, bright colors in a toy, one mom told me she was going to give all of her pastel stuffed animals that she received for baby gifts to her cat! She thought they didn’t meet the criteria of bright colors. I discouraged her, saying that these stuffed friends might be useful when her child is around two, as guests at a pretend tea party or riders in a wagon during creative play.
5. Bring on the Action: Look for flexibility in a toy—one where you and your baby can engage in lots of actions to describe. Moving parts like doors to open, peek-a-boo windows, containers to put things in, and openings to push through all provide opportunities to talk about objects in, out, through, and opening and shutting.
Play on words picks:
• “Trotter the Pony” by Lamaze: Who wouldn’t want to chat with this face? Lift his saddle to see bumpy corduroy contrasted with his fuzzy body and smooth, shiny hooves. Want some action? Pull his legs and watch them get shorter and longer, or let him gallop over to your baby. Talk about the actions, textures, patterns, colors and shapes as you converse with Trotter.
• “Pupsqueak” by Lamaze: This dog toy barks and pants alternately when you press his nose and conveniently carries his bone wherever he goes. Have fun narrating while he eats, sits, walks and even takes a nap.
• “Me in the Mirror” by Sassy: Choosing this mirror gives you versatility—you can hang it on the crib, or it stands alone for tummy time. Be on the lookout for fun faces and bugs or characters to describe around the mirror, like this sun, bug and bird. The opposite side is a picture frame so you can rotate pictures of people and places familiar to your baby.
• “Whoozit” by Manhattan Toy: This whimsical character’s face invites babies to investigate the hidden noises including rattles, squeaks, and crinkling paper. Lift up its nose and you can see yourself in the mirror.
• “Gymini™ Super Deluxe Light and Music Activity Gym” by Tiny Love: Activity mats bring on the fun and this bright playground of toys has a dangling elephant, giraffe and bird with a big round mirror that moves and provides new vistas to describe. The animals offer different textures and sounds like squeaks and crinkles to name as your baby watches and reaches for them. You can add classical music, nursery rhymes and lights for excitement.
