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Now that all the lists are out–Parents Magazine, Parenting, Toywishes, Amazon and others–for the best new toys for holiday giving, parents are asking what to buy? All these lists are helpful but what I have assembled is a list of my favorite toys, many new but some old favorites, based on their value in building speech and language skills. I’ve added tips to build language to increase the educational value of the toy.
Halloween brings on excited anticipation in children as they plan the character they will “be” for the night and search for that perfect costume. I’ve already been privy to a 3 year-old’s Dorothy costume, complete with her basket and Toto. It resides on a high shelf so it won’t be worn out before October 31st.
Why not take advantage of the buzz around Halloween and introduce some new books around the theme that can capture your child’s interest and build his language through rhyme, vocabulary and clever plots to spark conversation.
Parents are always asking me to recommend the best toys for their child’s age. They are tired of spending money on toys that end up in the toy bin, ignored and a waste of money. Since I spend several hours a day playing with children from 2-8 years of age, I can tell you what excites kids and maintains their interest because it changes as their imagination ignites.
I know this sounds simple but my pick is Play-Doh. Yes, that squishable brightly colored molding clay begins as a blob of undiscovered fun and can end as a sandwich for your tea party, a chair for your play figure to sit in, letters to mail or a favorite animal to roam the forest. The next playtime with your preschooler try these tips to build language and have fun:
- Pick a theme. Choose a theme associated with your child’s recent activity–a trip to the zoo, baking cookies, playing in the yard, going for a swim or visiting the playground. Or pick a theme based on your child’s interest such as pirates, castles, or dinosaurs. This is just a starting point. You are acting as the producer of his play by offering some fun components for him to use in creating his story and dialogue. Your child will take over as the director, beginning at the zoo and maybe ending up at the park for a snack. Put out the Play-Doh and start modeling with your hands as well as your language. Take out some large props as a background for your theme–Diego’s Talking Rescue Center, the Fisher Price Little People Sweet Sounds House or the Weebles Weebalot Castle. These provide the backdrop for your child’s story telling.
- Add the little people. Now you are ready for conversation with people or animals that you can animate. You pick up a figure and start the chat with an open ended question like, “I wonder where we should go today?” or “What should we take to the beach?” Encourage your child to pick a person too and move your people for face to face conversations, planning your next play move.
- Provide the Play-Doh. Show your child that anything is possible with a lump of dough. The animals at the zoo need food? No problem. Roll out some carrots, apples or hay out of the dough. Provide some starter thoughts on what to make and then sit back and let your child lead the imaginative play. Language is more greatly enhanced when a parent is involved in play but not directing the action.
- Offer the tools. Make sure you have plenty of scissors, forks, knives, rollers or cookie cutters to start his imagination going and adding to his play scheme. Don’t go for pre-packaged sets that provide all the supplies. Instead, offer the tools to create his own food, animals, furniture or toys. While playing with a small oven, I have seen kids fashion a square of Play-Doh, flatten it and hang it up on the towel rack to dry hands after baking!
- Give movable props. Provide a little wheelbarrow, shovel and bucket or oven to cook your delicacies. Slides, swings or vehicles can move your creations or provide an opportunity to change the action. Roll out a ball of Play-Doh for the park–sending it down the slide or pushing it in a swing. Use the shovel to dig and create crabs, fish, worms or whatever to transport in your bucket. Good props are open-ended so your child can use them in many ways, changing their stories and expanding language skills.
- Expand the story. After following your child’s lead in play, occasionally introduce a new prop or idea to expand their story. Don’t take over. They are still the leader of play, but you have raised the language level when you move the theme to a new topic. While playing with a train set, you might offer a play house to be the ticket office and mold some tickets to be sold.
- Introduce some themed props. While I find it easiest to gather props from different toy sets to create new stories, I do have some favorite sets based on themes that children love. Play-Doh’s “picnic bucket” and “beach bucket,” have cutouts, rollers, and props centered around food and the beach. The Play-Doh “Fun with Food-Meal Makin’ Kitchen Playset” has all the tools to cook up a tasty treat. Kids love to open and shut the oven, baking their creations and serving them up. After a trip to the beach, grab Play-Doh’s “Sand Sensations,” the brightly colored textured dough that feels like wet sand. Kids love to make castles and re-create their water experiences.
So be the producer of your child’s play, setting out some great props, Play-Doh and a creative child and watch the action begin!
Getting teenagers to talk and confide in their parents is a hot topic. But face it. These communication skills should be modeled and practiced from the time your child is very young.
Don’t we all want to hear about our child’s day–that she was included on the playground, had someone to sit with at lunch, understood what was going on in class, and most importantly had a “good” day? Recently I heard a mom’s conversation with her kindergartner after his first day of school. Her line of questioning went something like this, “Did you have fun today? Who did you play with at recess?” “Nobody?” “Wasn’t Jimmy there?” “How about gym class?” And so on, while her little one relayed his side of the story which sounded like he was a loner all day. In reality he was happy and enjoyed his first day and mom was a wreck because of his answers.
As a speech language pathologist, I have had to start and keep conversations going with kids from 1-18 (both ages have their challenges!) for over 30 years. So I want to offer some tips for getting your preschool and elementary-aged child to open up about school when she comes home:
- Ask open-ended questions. Surely, “How was school today?” does not bring about the most conversation. For many young children it is too vague and they need a more specific question to help them remember their day. Avoid questions that can be answered in one word–especially “yes” or “no.” Rather try some open-ended questions like, “Tell me about the game you played at recess today” or “That’s a beautiful picture of the farm. Tell me about it.” or “I wonder what you had for lunch today.”
- Use their artwork or take-home papers to start conversations. A research study by Marvin and Privratsky (1999) showed that when 4 year old children brought home objects from preschool including their art projects, the children referred to recent school activities significantly more than when they did not. Take advantage of these masterpieces, asking open ended questions of your little artist and don’t forget to listen. . Showing interest in their work can increase their self-esteem as well as link school and home. Recently a mom picked up her kindergartner’s two papers. One had a few identifiable drawings of sea creatures and the other was scribbly lines. She started describing the recognizable crab and fish and then pointed to the other drawings, pausing to let her son fill in. He proudly identified the drawings in question and went on to talk about how he made them. When asked about the scribbles he said, “Oh that just says I love you!”
- Know their school schedule so you can start talking about library day, gym or art class. “What kind of books did the librarian show you today?” or “What did you find at the library?” “Tell me about the books that you chose.” Take the time to sit down and read the books with her, affirming her choice, and encouraging reading.
- Know the themes they are learning--apples and farms, communities, the seashore, China or the rain forest. Have fun exploring the topics on the internet together, learning new facts to expand on her knowledge and discussing the themes.
- Model sharing about your day. “I had a great day today. I talked to grandma and grandpa about…” or “I met a new friend and we had coffee at the beach.” It is important to share your interests, friends, challenges and joys with your kids so they see that communication modeled for them. There is nothing quite so rewarding as when my grown sons say to me, “How was your day today, Mom?”
- Take time at the dinner table to talk about a good and bad thing that happened that day. Knowing that the family gathered at dinner is a safe place to share joys and disappointments, is comforting. Recently a mom of a 1 year-old told me that at her daughter’s first year check-up, one of the many questions the pediatrician asked her was, “Do you eat dinner as a family and talk about your day?” That pediatrician gets it! If parents start modeling communication with their one-year-old on a daily basis, they are more likely to have a teenager who knows how to share her day. Make it a game of thinking of a good and bad, happy and sad, or fun and challenging event that day. By encouraging your young child to talk about a hard thing that happened that day, you can provide emotion words to help her express herself such as, “You must have been disappointed when Sally didn’t let you join the game.” or “I bet you were frustrated when they were out of your favorite dessert at lunch.”
- Use books as conversation starters. Choose a book about school and see what conversation unfolds. For a laugh out loud, read What a Day it was at School! by Jack Prelutsky. His collection of poems about school–tipping over with a heavy backpack, throwing food in the cafeteria, hopelessly competing with a classmate in gym, or emitting an accidental noise during class–is outrageously silly, getting a child laughing and connecting the stories to her school experience. After reading the book to a second grader, I asked her what happens in her school if someone throws food at lunch? She went on to tell me the rules, and all about Cody and Will when they made a mess in the cafeteria.
- Take advantage of your child stalling at bedtime. One mother shared with me that if she lingers with her first-grade son after stories are read and the bedtime routine is over, she can count on about 10 minutes of chat about his day. He’s smart–he knows what mom likes and how to stay up longer!
- Listen, listen, and listen. Once your child gets started talking about her day, hold off more questions and let her go. As parents, we tend to jump in with more questions, but pausing is important. A child gains confidence as she relates her day and you affirm her.
