I just returned from a house of twins that I work with. Mom casually said to me, “Oh, I did what you said and it worked!” Of course I had to be reminded what I had told her.
Last visit, Mom had told me that Max, her 2 1/2 year-old “laid back” twin was in a stage of wanting to everything himself–even when he couldn’t do it!! Apparently he was trying unsuccessfully to get his shirt off, was stuck, she tried to help and he started having a tantrum. There was no way he was going to get his shirt off by himself or accept help. Sounds funny imagining him stuck in his shirt unless you are his mom.
I suggested that she introduce the idea of “taking turns.” Max could take a turn trying to “do it himself” and then it was mom’s turn to help. She carried over the concept to playtime when the twins were arguing about playing with the same toy. Max gets a turn with the toy and then Matt gets a turn. Many times when you are explaining situations like this, using language, kids stop fighting, protesting or whining because they have to listen to you and process what you are saying.
Model taking turns throughout your day. You might be stirring up some brownies or weeding the garden. Stop and say, “Your turn” and hand the spoon or shovel to your child and then take it back, labeling “my turn.”
Life is full of give and take and kids need to learn this valuable lesson lest they think they are in charge all the time!
As soon as the temperature rises, the birds start singing and the squirrels chase each other, a whole new world of language opens up to your child. I am constantly reminded of this as I try to work with kids inside on a wonderful summer day. If we are near a window, invariably the conversation turns to the critters moving around outside.
Little David , 2 years old, is fascinated with the bird nests that were built in the bushes outside his kitchen. No matter what we are doing–painting, blowing bubbles or putting little figures down a play slide, if he remembers the nest, we are headed outside!
Research shows that when you follow your child’s “focus of attention” meaning what they are interested in and talking about, they take in more language. As I stepped outside and followed David’s directives about the nest, worms, babies, and mama, he began to talk more and put some words together like “bird nest.” I climbed up on a patio wall and peeked in the bush to report on the babies being fed by the mom. Then I paused to let David reply. He went on and on, telling me about the bird and nest in his single-word format. It is amazing what one can understand when spoken to that way!
Always remember to pause and let your child respond to what you have described, that he is so interested in. Often, as parents, we tend to keep talking and forget to pause and let our little ones excitedly reply to the situation. If it is of interest, as this bird nest was, you will find your child speaks more and expands on what you have said.
Okay, you’ve seen Nanny 911 where she packs up the pacifiers and waits for the “Paci Fairy” to sneak in at night, take them away and leave some goodies in return. Or maybe you’ve tried wrapping up the pacifiers and “giving” them away to your friend’s new baby. In any case, getting rid of the beloved pacifier is a challenge.
In their new book, No More Pacifier for Piggy, authors Bernadette Ford and Sam Williams weave a social story aimed at the toddler set. Ducky engages his buddy, Piggy, in a game of peek-a-boo, and finds that his friend is inhibited by the pacifier plugging his mouth. How can he smile, laugh or answer his friend with that pacifier in his mouth? But can he give it up? Even when it falls to the ground, he has reserves in his pocket. Finally he sets it aside and realizes all the fun he has missed.
Sharing this book with your toddler might be the extra tool you need to launch her to the next grown-up stage.
As we honor dads on Father’s Day, you might want to give Dad a book to share with your child. Here are my picks:
• Daddy and Me by Karen Katz: This lift-a-flap book emphasizes prepositions—in, under, and behind—while building “guy” vocabulary. Sorry if that’s not politically correct but more guys play with tools than girls. The simple story of making a project together, introduces the tools and materials necessary to finish Henry’s doghouse.
• Daddy Hug by Tim Warnes: This picture book for 3-5 year-olds is packed with great adjectives to describe Daddy. Jane Chapman’s beautiful illustrations (she illustrated Bear Snores On) capture the differences between animal daddies—spiky, fluffy, creaky or slimy. But best of all, tender daddies keep us safe and snug with plenty of hugs.
• My Father the Dog by Elizabeth Bluemle: This picture book for 4-7 year-olds stacks the evidence against Dad—he must be a dog, not a human. The facts can’t be ignored. From scratching his itches, fetching the morning paper, growling when he’s startled from a nap, or fetching balls, he’s clearly only pretending to be human. His loyalty and love for the family are his best dog traits yet!
With social networking sites becoming so popular, it’s no surprise that I found one just for moms, www.mamasource.com. Take a look at the range of questions moms are posing to each other in the last 2 days–allergies, getting your child to sleep, kids bullied, disciplining a 2 year-old, 3 month-old won’t take a bottle, breastfeeding, a diet for a child with ADHD, choosing a jog stroller and potty training a 2 1/2 year-old. I am impressed with the encouragement moms are giving each other as they try to help solve common parenting challenges.
In addition, you can research topics, ask a question, answer one, and find a local business from party goods, kid’s clothing, and employment to fertility services.
So check it out. It’s free and connects you to other moms.
Last week, Parents’ Choice Foundation announced their 2008 Toy Awards which includes new games, puzzles and toys.
Preschool: Topping the list was my favorite, “eebee’s Adventure Play Mat and Activity Play House” by Every Baby Company. This play house is begging to be put together for a child from 6 months to 3 years. What kid doesn’t like to build a fort and play house in it? When I brought this to a family’s house to play with their 2 ½ year-old, mom sat his 6 month-old sister in there too and they had a ball. The thick soft panels stick together with Velcro for endless possibilities for creative housing. For my full review go to the Parents’ Choice website.
Several new games made the list for the preschool set. Cranium introduced creative games that promote learning through activities your little one experiences every day-”Let’s Play Stamp and Mail”, “Let’s Play Measure and Cook” and “Let’s Play Neighborhood Sounds Bingo.” These are creative, fun games that I saw introduced at the International Toy Fair in February.
5 Years old and up: Games for the slightly older set, 5 years and up, that have been winners with the kids that I have played with include “Animal Soup” and “Clothespins! Game” by Briarpatch. With “Animal Soup”, every player gets a flip book with variations on their cartoon-style animal. Each picture varies with the addition of a scarf, tiara, jeweled necklace, lei, or varied hats. It’s a race to be the first one to match your picture to the figures on the game board so the winner can collect an animal disc out of the soup bowl. Kids love this game, not realizing that while they’re madly looking for their animal match, they are building their visual discrimination, memory, and fine motor skills. See my full review at the Parents’ Choice website.
“Clothespins! Game” is like a kid’s Gin Rummy where the player decides how to collect items of clothes to hang on the line—by color and pattern (stripes or polka dots) or by type of clothing (pants, shorts). Collect at least three of the same cards, put a pole at the end and no one can steal off of your line! See my full review at the Parents’ Choice website.
Babies: One of the products that received an award is the “Taggies First Touch Ball.” These soft, fuzzy balls dotted with taggies to touch and explore are easy for baby to squeeze and grasp and even for big brother to throw and catch. See my full review at the Parents’ Choice website.
8 years and up: For older kids the award-winners look really great. Try “Chocolate Fix” by ThinkFun Inc that garnered the gold award. Players place chocolates in order on a tray according to clues provided in a puzzle. Sounds yummy to me!
I just left a first grade class that is studying poetry. The students were filling in their poetry journal. A big heart was on each page and a line beneath it. Each page was devoted to a topic “close to their heart” that they wanted to write a poem about. They named that topic and drew a picture in the heart. Then they wrote words around the heart that came to mind on that subject—for the ocean, hot sandy beach, sun, fish swimming and bathing suit. This is a fun activity to do with your child beginning in preschool. You will be the scribe, writing down your child’s words and thoughts and they can illustrate the page, or an older child can do this independently.
Poetry is a great venue for building vocabulary, which enhances language development. As I work with children in elementary school, I find that so many of their language arts activities—writing, reading and speaking—involve encouraging rich descriptive words. Children have to stop and listen, observe, smell, and describe their environment with words.
Of course, not all poetry rhymes, but beginning baby board books are already preparing your child to listen for similar sounds at the end of words and hear beautiful descriptions for later use.
Some favorite poetry books for children are Talking Like the Rain A Read-to-me Book of Poems and Here’s a Little Poem: A Very First Book of Poetry by Yolen, Peters and Dunbar. Expose your child early to the beauty of poetry and model creating fun poems as you go about your daily activities with your child.
I just got a call from Will’s parents excitedly telling me that he was putting 2 words together and gabbing away in the bathtub! He had said “pine cone” and “thunder boom” on his walk outside and later during a big thunderstorm. His parents were so excited as was I. Even though I knew it was coming as i watched Will’s vocabulary build, it is a milestone to hear your child start to form little sentences. So much more can be communicated when a child combines words. Just think, “Daddy come” or “Mommy read” invites you to participate in his activity. He is able to express his wants and needs more easily. What should you do next?
Encourage more two-word combinations by feeding your child some short sentences like “Here’s a pine cone” or “Thunder says boom!” Add on a word or two to what he said to expand his language. Always speak in grammatically correct sentences—no need to talk to toddlers in telegraphic speech like they are using. They respond to accurate language that you are modeling. Always encourage their language with a resounding “Yes!” after they tell you something new like “big boat.” You might say, “Yes! That is a big boat. You big boat floats. Let’s push your big boat.” You are providing him with new ways to use his words and expand on what he says.
I have been working with little William since he was 16 months old and not saying words yet. He has made steady progress and seems to be taking off with his language development lately. He just turned 3 years old, is using 3-4 word sentences and guess what?
Much to Mom’s surprise he has started to repeat a word at the beginning of a sentence as he tries to say something. “I I I I want pirate.” It seems that he is having trouble getting out what he wants to say. “This is something new,” Mom says, “What does it mean?”
Occasional easy repetitions of whole words or phrases at this age can be typical and is referred to as “normal dysfluency,” not stuttering, by a speech-language pathologist. Often it occurs when a child is experiencing a surge in his language development. Tips for responding:• Don’t draw attention. In the same way that you wouldn’t correct your child’s pronunciation, don’t draw attention to these repetitions. Just listen attentively and be affirming.
• Be patient. Give him your full attention with ample time to express himself. He’ll get the idea that he doesn’t have to hurry and you are interested in what he is saying.
• Slow down yourself. Answer him in a slow, relaxed rate of speech yourself, creating a calm environment in which to share. I often tell parents to use their “Mr. Rogers” voice. By your modeling a slower pace, you can affect his rate of speech.
• Don’t finish up. It’s easy for a parent to want to finish his child’s sentence but it is important to let him complete his thought. Interrupting is disruptive and will not promote fluency.
• Shorten up. Respond to your child with some shorter, less complex sentences, pausing between phrases. “Let’s get your shovel and truck. We’re going to the park today.”
Be Aware:
If your child begins to show signs of dysfluent speech that are different from the typical examples given, such as repeating parts of words, “m-m-m-my car” or prolonging a sound in a word such as “mmmmmy car” and this persists, you should seek an evaluation from a speech-language pathologist. To find a professional in your area refer to The American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA) website at www.asha.org.
As parents we are bombarded with the next best toy coming out on the market. Having walked through the many floors of the 2008 International Toy Fair in New York City, I was overwhelmed with the spirit of invention, creativity and passion to find that next best toy, book or game. I get caught up in it too. I love when a package arrives with new products to review and I can see what some of my favorite manufacturers are introducing.
Then I come down to earth when I see a toddler fascinated with a cardboard box that has become his ship, house or fort. I drove up to a fantastic grandma’s house the other day and right next to her beautiful gardens were two huge cardboard container boxes from a furniture delivery. Little scribbles were on the sides and windows and doors were cut out for play.
Yesterday I spent almost an hour with little Ian who was busy with just a watering can and the hose. He never tired of asking mom to turn on the hose, filling up his can and watering every bush he could find in the yard. In the meantime we discovered leaves that looked like rabbit ears, purple flower petals, bugs, sticks and even a bale of hay that Dad left behind.
Springtime is a wonderland of new sounds, textures, objects and colors. Let you child lead you to what he loves and describe it for him and give him a little more information. Show him the tree where the petals fell from, collect sticks and compare sizes, talk about an empty and full watering pot, and describe the furry rabbit ears. When you follow your child’s lead and his interests, he takes in more language and will be talking sooner.
